Part Two of To Sleep or Not to Sleep

An extra long title for a not so long post 🙂

After a discussion with my chiropractor about how long I’d had my mattress and its connection to my recent back, leg and arm pains and restlessness, I started my journey for a new mattress.

As with anything I plan to purchase, I set out to do a little research first.  Who knew buying a new bed would take three months of research and testing of mattresses?  It was awful!  Every time I thought I’d narrowed it down, I’d read about some other mattress that was sure to help with chronic lower back issues or help to promote a better night’s sleep.  Well, when my allergist threw in her two cents about how certain mattresses could help with my allergies and sinus troubles, I was fit to be tied.

What I knew for certain was that I was going to be spending A LOT of money and I had to get this mattress thing just right.  It is amazing how little I knew about how a lack of good sleep, joint pain and blood circulation can make the difference between a successful, productive day and a bad day.  I learned that its not just about getting eight hours of sleep.  We can all probably get eight hours on a good night but are you comfortable and peacefully sleeping for those eight hours or tossing, turning and getting up every couple of hours?

My research included visiting various mattress stores and laying on more mattresses than I ever thought possible!  Here are a few things I am convinced of…

1. There is no way you can buy a mattress that is best for you without being able to try it out first.

2. Buying a bed in a box is risky.  If you can’t find a store nearby that has one of those bed in a box mattresses available to try, cross it off your list.

3. You have to be certain about your mattress expectations and be sure it will fit your specific needs and desires.

4. Stay away from weird sales people. I had a salesperson ask me if I liked to sleep on my side or in the casket position.  Of course, that grabbed my attention but it also creeped me out.  No way was I going to let her sell me a mattress no matter what the sales price was.  Here I was concerned about my health and with the money I was planning to spend, this was not the time for her jokes.

5. If you want to go with an organic mattress, like with organic food certifications, know exactly what it means for a mattress to be certified organic and if you agree with those standards.

6. It really is a good idea to change your mattress every eight to ten years.  Trust me, it makes a difference so start your search early.

When the smoke cleared, we decided on a TempurPedic.  Just like the last time I bought a car, this was THE most pleasant buying experience!  First, our salesperson, Yahiara, was amazing!  Even though I know it’s her job to sell products, she didn’t make us feel as it we had to purchase a mattress right then.  She answered all of our questions, talked about the benefits of each mattress in the store that was within our budget and never tried to talk us into something more pricey.

Second, we purchased our mattress from an actual TempurPedic store and not from a third party mattress store for several reasons.  The pricing was about the same at all the other stores we’d been to but the medical discounts, free pillows, and mattress protectors we got at the TempurPedic store made the difference.

Third, the moment I laid down on my mattress, I knew it was the one for me.  Early on in my search I knew I wanted an adjustable base so my mattress on an adjustable base was simply the best.  My fifteen year old daughter was with me that day, when we laid down on the bed, she and I both said at the same time, “this it the one!”  I truly wanted to carry that mattress out of the store with me because by that point, all I wanted was a restful, peaceful good night’s sleep.

As of today, my Love and I have been in our new bed for about two weeks.  I have slept in Zero Gravity almost every night and best of all, I have slept through the night.  I wake up feeling as if I’d actually slept and rested!  My arms, legs and joints are starting to feel better and not so restless.  With just a little elevation on his side, my Love, still using his C-Pap machine, is breathing much better through the night.  One big bonus…if either one of us happens to turn or move in the night, the other person doesn’t feel it so their sleep isn’t disturbed.

 

Looking forward to restful sleep… 🙂

 

To Sleep or Not to Sleep

After my son was born, I began experiencing pain in my lower back.  I had no idea what was causing it or what to do to make it stop.  When the pain got really severe, I had to be taken to the hospital where they would inject medication into my back.  Over the years, I guess I kind of got used to having this pain.  At my worst, I had difficulty getting out bed, driving and getting in and out of the car.  My doctors would tell me there was not much they could do outside of shots, prescribing pain pills and muscle relaxers.  I am not one to take a lot of medication just to be taking it so, I began simply living with this dull pain in my lower back.  I’d take an aspirin or two if the pain got too bad but for the most part, I just dealt with it.  By the time I started teaching full time, I had no idea how I’d live my life with this constant pain in my back.  I found new doctors who basically recommended the same treatment as my previous doctors, cortisone shots in the area, which I extremely opposed or surgery which was completely out of the question.  I was not able to wrap my head around having back surgery when none of my doctors could pinpoint where the pain was coming from or how the surgery would help.

During my second year of teaching, during Teacher Appreciation Week, my principal at the time had hired a massage company to come in and give teachers fifteen minute massages on their breaks.  Prior to this I had never had a massage by a professional.  During the brief session, a nurse was also there to talk to about spinal health and to ask questions about whether or not you were experiencing any back pain or joint discomfort.  I jumped at the chance to tell her about the lower back pain I’d been experiencing since the birth of my son some ten years prior.  She invited me to come to the chiropractic office where she worked and meet with the doctor.  Chiropractic services were never on my radar as I worked with other doctors to find a solution to my lower back pain.  None of my doctors recommended chiropractic services or any other physical therapy services for that matter.

A few weeks later I met with this doctor, who turned out to be a very nice, kind and knowledgeable guy.  I had x-rays done on my back, met with the rest of his staff and was given a tour of his office where he explained his work and what all of the machines were used for.  A few days later I went back to review my x-rays and talk about treatment options.  Turns out, the pain I had been experiencing was due pressure on my nerves from my spinal cord being a little inflamed and pinched.  I’m sure there is a scientific term for it but I can not recall what he called it.  I began having treatments at his office and after a few weeks, I began to feel better.

I started seeing Dr. Brown about ten years ago and I still see him for treatment maybe about once every other month or so.  I, honestly feel a lot better.  After my car accident five years ago, he was the first person I called.  With no medication or surgery, he was able to help my body heal the three bulging discs, two tears and whiplash I sustained from the accident.  Whenever I have issues with my health, Dr. Brown is usually the first person I call or go see.  So when I recently began experiencing pain in my neck, shoulders and back, I went to his office to talk with him.  His first question, “how old is your mattress?”  My response, “12 years.”

This conversation set me on a journey that taught me even more about my health and listening to my body.

 

More to come…:)

Talk the Talk

Consider this…we can’t create an actual universe with our words, but we can use them to build up or destroy someone else’s world.

I came across this little nugget during my quiet time reading recently and almost immediately shared it on my Facebook page because I thought it was so simple but yet so true.  We have so much power in our words that life and the world would be a much better place if we knew how to use them in a positive way.

When I was younger, I like any other kid, loved watching television.  My favorite part was the commercials.  Back in the day almost every product/ad was promoted through a jingle.  The jingle would get stuck in your head and you’d be singing that thing for the rest of the week!  As I was growing, I had a plan to go off to college and get a degree that would help me to be able to make commercials.  Well, I did go to college and I got a degree but life led me down a different path.

Today, television is the last thing I want to sit down and watch.  I still enjoy a good commercial however, with news programs, tv series and made for tv movies taking such a dark and negative turn, I rarely turn on the television anymore.  If it were solely up to me, I’d toss out every television in the house.

I find it increasingly difficult to expend positive energy to my family and friends or even those I simply run into each day when we, this world, is surrounded in so much negativity.  I feel for my kids the most.  In this age of instant “Likes” and instant posts so that the world knows your every move, my kids are bombarded with instant comments about everything.  And I feel that this is desensitizing them to simple compassion.  It amazes me that everyone has an opinion about everything but what saddens me most is that even in the most positive postings, articles or news reports someone will find a way to turn it into a negative.  You can’t read a post or article about anything where someone hasn’t found a way to make a negative or hurtful comment.  My love gets so frustrated with me because I try to find a positive in all that I do and say.  I am by no means perfect and even though it is hard and often times challenging, I’d much rather find a way to show love and compassion to someone than to be mean and say something negative or hurtful.

What I feel we, as a society, are losing most is our ability to be compassionate.  1 Peter 4: 9-10 says “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”  To me that simply means to love one another, to have compassion and respect for my fellow man (woman) and to be compassionate.

Every day, in every situation, find a way to share grace…:)

 

 

The Importance of Sisterhood

I was very lucky to find a great friend early in life.  She is usually the first person I call when anything happens in my life.  Currently, we live on opposite sides of the country, she’s in California and I’m in Florida.  We met at church when we were about nine or ten years old.  We are the same age, our birthday’s are on the same day, different months (she’s in December, I’m in September), and we were born at the same hospital.  To say that we were meant to be is an understatement for us.  I only get to see her once a year but for us nothing has changed except a plane ride.

Over the years I’ve tried to form bonds with other girls/women but the friendships never seemed to connect well.  I think it’s mostly because of me though.  I’ve had some really bad friendships with some who claimed to be a friend but ended up doing or saying something that caused me to not trust them and to pull away.  I learned to keep my circle of friends very small.  Basically, it was just my friend Swayla and my sister.

Recently, I’ve come to understand that creating a sisterhood can be very important in a women’s life.  A sisterhood, community of women, can help to strengthen one other when a safe place can be created that allows women to openly and honestly share with one another.  Two weeks ago I was invited to a gathering at coworker’s house.  While she and I do talk periodically by phone, we don’t hang out or meet up regularly.  I am not one to attend too many get-togethers because I don’t want to open myself up to false friendships.  However, I wanted to support my coworker who was hosting because I find her to be very kind and genuine.

Surprisingly, I had a very nice time.  What stood out to me most that afternoon was the story my coworker told about a group of women she recently began working out with.  At a stressful point in her life, my coworker decided that she wanted to start working out to clear her mind and relieve stress.  After some research, she came across this group of women who met to work out together.  In this group, they not only support one another during work outs but have created a sisterhood to support one another inside and outside of the gym.  They support each others goals, hold one another accountable and regularly meet up to personally check in.

Through her story I learned three important aspect of building trusting, lasting friendships.

First, to find a friend, one must show themselves as a friend.

Second, connect with like-minded people.

Third, don’t be afraid to share your story because God didn’t intent for us to walk this journey alone.

As I have continued to read Craving Connection, I have learned what it means to be a friend and also how silence about my pain and struggles can sometimes push me into isolation and make me fearful of letting others in.  While I am not suggesting that you go out and blab your business to everyone in order to find friends but start small.  Look around the outer ring of your current circle of friends.  See if there is one or two women you could possible have a deeper connection with.  Invite them to lunch or coffee and hang out.  The more you are around them the more you may feel comfortable and this may help you to open up more.  Some friendships may simply be general and pleasant from a distance and that’s ok.  The overall goal is to not isolate yourself to the point where you are not reaching out or growing to your full potential.  Work on developing relationships that will stretch, support and encourage you.

 

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. – Maya Angelou

 

 

Angels Among Us

I am not unaware that I am getting older.  Some days I forget my age when my mind tells me, “oh, yeah, we can still do that!”  But then, later on when I’m trying to sit or lay down my body says, “girl, we can’t do that no more!”  However, the older I get I make sure that I listen to my body and do what’s best for it.  I made my brother a promise, when he was battling cancer, that I would take care of myself and not ignore when my body is talking to me.  So, when I ain’t feeling quite right, I go see my doctor.

I happened to be doing a follow up appointment this morning when my day was impacted in a very unexpected but pleasant way.  My appointment was at 8 a.m.  I got up on time, made breakfast for the kids, sent them off to school and went about my normal morning routine.  I had an extra hour since I wasn’t going straight to work so I had breakfast myself and extended my quite time.  Left the house on time, made the forty minute drive to my appointment and the moment I put the car in park I realized that I’d walked out of the house and forgot my doctor’s acquisition order for the test he wanted done.  Not to panic, I thought, maybe the doctor forwarded a copy to the office.  Get in, check in and tell the receptionist about my mishap.  She checks the system and finds no acquisition order.  Our next option, before panic sets in, is to call the doctor’s office and simply have them fax over a copy.  The message on the doctor’s line says that the office is not open until 11 a.m. today.  Now, its time to panic!

Of course, there was no way I’d be able to make the forty minute drive back home to get the papers, make the forty minute drive back to the office (if there was even time to no squeeze me in) and then get to work by 11:20 a.m.  Looking at my face, I think the receptionist could tell that I was starting to get a little anxious.  Thinking quickly, after I told her how far I had to drive to go back home and then return pending traffic, she asked where I lived and then found an office that was closer to my house.  Thankfully, that office agreed to squeeze me in but I had to get there within the hour.  I got home, grabbed the papers, made it to the office within the hour, checked in and sat down to wait my turn.

As to not let my anxiety to continue to rise, I decided to Bluetooth a message from Transformation Church on my ride back to the house from my first appointment location.  During this message the pastor referenced a passage of scripture I wanted to read.  Upon sitting at my second appointment I thought I’d take out my bible and read over the scripture while I waited.  As I began to read, I noticed a man of a different nationality watching me.  I thought nothing of it and continued reading.  A few moments later this same man walked over to me and said, “hey, what’cha reading?”  I replied, “the bible” and then told him the scripture I was reading.  He told me that was one of his favorite scriptures and sat down next to me.  He introduced himself and began talking to me about his church and ministry background.  He said that he approached me because he’d never seen anyone reading the bible in public and was glad I was unashamed to do it.

For a split second I thought, “I hope this man is not trying to hit on me because I don’t want to have to be rude.”  As it turns out, he wasn’t he just wanted to have a conversation about God.  We had a very pleasant conversation about God, my kids, his kids, his family, my work and then my name was called to see the receptionist.

The strangest thing happened.  The receptionist told me that the test my doctor ordered couldn’t be performed at that location and that I would have to go to yet a different location.  We rescheduled the appointment for a later date because it was apparent I was not supposed to have that test done today.  On my way out I stopped to thank the man who took the time to come over and talk to me.  When I told him I was at yet the wrong location again he told me that he wasn’t supposed to be there either.  He had been finished with his appointment for about an hour and the friend that was supposed to pick him up was running late.  He then shared a scripture with me, quietly prayed over me and sent me on my way with a hug.  Of course we got funny looks from the people in the waiting room because here was this short black lady with crazy natural hair and this tall white man with a bald head and sleeve tattoos on both arms sharing about God, praying and hugging in the waiting room of a medical office.  Talk about angels on earth.

I’ve heard of people having encounters like this but I’d never experienced one myself until today.  It truly made my day.  Just when I thought I was going to have a bad day and stress out over this appointment, God sent this angel to cross my path.  My whole day changed in just a few short minutes.

Trying to let God lead the way…:)

 

Morning Drive – Part 2

So a few days ago I posted about my struggles with my morning drive to work and the subsequent solution to my problem.  Now that I am having an extended quiet time as I drive to work listening to positive people discuss positive things I must say that not only is my attitude better but I am learning a ton.

I totally agree that Smartphones can be so very annoying in that they seem to be all up in our business based on things we search and apps we use.  Of course, YouTube does the same thing and posts in your feed videos that are similar to those you’ve watched and searched for.  My go to morning inspiration person from YouTube is Pastor John Gray.  Every now and again when I want to switch it up a bit I listen to Joyce Meyer or Priscilla Shirer.

Then last week as I was scrolling through YouTube looking for a new message for the day I came across this Pastor named Michael Todd of Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Man, have I been encouraged on my drive this week!  When I began listening to Pastor Todd he was beginning an eight week series on what he titled Relationship Goals.

In this series he talks about all aspects of relationships; friendships, dating, engagement and marriage relationships.  I have learned so much from this series. I am currently on Part Five and plan to finish the series and maybe even listen to more from him later on.  I think the most important thing I have taken away from this series so far is that relationships of any kind will only work best when God is in the middle.

I can definitely see how that can be true.  From personal experience, I notice that the more I grow in my relationship with God the more I feel disconnected from the relationships/friendships I have with others who do not have a personal relationship with God.  I’m growing and changing in a way that is different from theirs.  Of course I’m not saying that I am in anyway better and they are less, it’s just different.

The more I learn about God and myself, the more I want to do better.  It’s kind of hard to grow and do better in relationships with those that don’t hold you accountable or encourage you to to better.  When those around you don’t grow in away that promotes the best of God it can be difficult to maintain a positive and successful relationship with them.  If they are still hanging out in the same places, using the same language, behaving in the same way you both did before you decided to build a relationship with God, then it stands to serve that your relationship with them will not be the same.

I know that I am much different now than I was prior to my relationship with God. I still have some of the same friends however the friendships are different.  I have to set boundaries not only for myself but for them as well.  However, those friendships that attempted to hinder my relationship with God had to be severed. I still love them and wish them the best but my relationship with God was much more important.

Moving on…:)

Morning Drive – Part 1

We all know that things in life happen for a reason.  What I’ve come to know is that no matter what the reason, we should learn something from all that we experience in life whether good or bad.

So around the beginning of the school year this past August or September I had gotten to the point where I just didn’t like any of the morning talk radio shows.  As I drove to work I found much of the commentary quite annoying and silly.  I kept thinking to myself, “what in the world am I learning from this?”

I got up in the morning, went through the whole morning routine with the family and then once they were out of the house I sat down to have my quiet time with God and pray.  When my quiet time was over, I got in the car for the twenty minute drive to work listening to morning talk show hosts go from one silly, crazy topic to another.

Just before getting into my car I’d spent fifteen minutes or so preparing my heart and mind for what I already knew would be a stressful day.  I’d arrive at work feeling as if all of that preparedness at home was zapped away on the drive in.  Once I got clear about my very draining and sometime negative drive to work I figured I had two options:

  1. I could turn off the radio and drive in silence like my mother used to do (now I understand why she did it)
  2. I could find something more positive to listen to

Last March I had purchased a new car that had Bluetooth capabilities.  At the time I had no idea how important that little feature would become in my life.  Not long after the purchase my niece connected my cellphone to the Bluetooth so that I could be hands-free.  But then a little while after that my co-worker walked me through how I could use my Bluetooth to listen to Pandora in the car.

One of my favorite people to listen to sometimes during my quiet times is Pastor John Gray.  I watch him on YouTube.  I enjoy his positive messages and he’s pretty funny.  As I was dealing with my morning drive issue I thought, “how great would it be if I could listen to Pastor Gray on my drive to work?”  Then it hit me, if I could Bluetooth Pandora, maybe I could do the same thing with YouTube.

So I sat in my car one afternoon, followed the same steps my coworker taught me to connect Pandora and whaa-laa, my car was connected to YouTube!

Now, each work day morning, I get to have what I like to call my, PHOP, Positive Hour of Power!  I have my quiet time at home and then hop in the car with my YouTube and positive message from Pastor Gray.  It’s amazing what a good morning of positivity can do for the rest of your day.  I am so very happy with my drive to work. My PHOP gives me more than enough energy and a definite positive attitude to get through the day.

Attitude is everything…:)