When Saleem was about four or five years old I can remember, people always asking, “do you want any more kids” or “when are you having another one?” My response was always the same, “if God wants me to have some, he better send me a man with some because I’m not having anymore!” It was a joke to me until Saleem was about ten or eleven and I decided that I really wanted to have another child. Around that time I’d met my love. Although he already had five, we thought we’d try for one more or maybe two since he was a twin and twins were known to run in his family. Either way, we would be happy with what ever God decided to bless us with.
Unfortunately, we were not prepared for the news we’d receive a few months later. Turns out, I had uterine fibroids and my doctors doubted that I’d ever be able to have another child. Under my doctors’ care, I decided to put off having surgery in order to try to get pregnant one more time. After about eight months, I had not gotten pregnant but my fibroids had grown so large they were pressing on other vital organs. My doctor was afraid my kidneys would be dangerously affected. When tests revealed just how much damage my fibroids were doing to my body, my doctor gave me two weeks to get things in order so that he could perform my hysterectomy.
The day I left my doctor’s office was one of the saddest days. Not only was I faced with not being able to have another child but I struggled with having to have such a major surgery at thirty-two years old. Needless to say, the days leading up to the surgery were some of the most difficult. I didn’t want my parents or Saleem to worry about me so I put on a brave face, said the most positive things when anyone asked how I was doing and tried not to cry.
The surgery went well. I recovered with good friends, family and my love taking care of me. I returned to work and life moved on. At the time, only three of my love’s children lived in the area and we were able to see them regularly. So between his three and Saleem, we were often pretty busy having family movie nights, vacationing in some small town in Florida none of us had ever heard of and hanging out with the kids at one of their extracurricular events.
Time seems to have flown by. The picture above is of me and who I refer to as “The Last of the Mohicans.” These are my love’s youngest two…the twins and the last two at home. They were three years old when their dad and I met. I was blessed to be Saleem’s mom and to be apart of his everyday life and upbringing. Even though God decided that having another child was not in the cards for me, I have been truly blessed to be Mimi to my love’s kids, especially these two. I have been blessed to share in many firsts with the twins…their first day of kindergarten, their first day of middle school, their first day learning to drive, their first “unofficial” date and today, their first day at their first job. In a few years, we will be dropping them off at their first day of college.
Prior to gaining full custody of the twins and their older sister almost four years ago, my love and I were weekend parents along with giving as much support during the week as needed. Granted our lives have changed quite a bit now that the kids are with us full time and I must admit, I was not at all prepared as Saleem was out on his own by then. I was enjoying being a semi-empty nester. I understand now that even though all those years ago I joked about God sending me a man with kids, He has actually answered my prayers. I am so grateful to have had this time with them.
Be careful what you ask for…:)