Finding My Way

Over the past few weeks I have had many great ideas to blog about. However, so much has happened over the past few weeks that I am not quite sure where to begin. When I first began this blog it was meant to be a place where my friends and I could gather to discuss books that we had chosen to read together, an online book study of sorts.  I think we may have gotten through one book together and then, as with life, we all got busy, schedules changed and we could no longer do what we set out to do. But since I’d already started the blog I didn’t want to just shut it down and as a natural-born writer I decided to use it as a place for simply sharing my thoughts, ideas and encouraging others based on my own experiences. The goal was to post at least once week, no less than three times a month. But as my life got busy I wasn’t able to post/blog as much as I would have liked.

My experiences in the past few weeks have been good, great, not so great and some just simply the worst.  As I sit here now thinking about it all I’m drawn to how I felt about each experience during and after.  Sometimes I was angry, sometimes I was hurt, at times I was confused, at times I was scared, and sometimes I was just plain numb. It’s funny that in the middle of it all I just wanted to say, “ok, life…you win. I quit.”   Then just sit on my bed never to move or leave the house again.  Of course, I couldn’t do that because in order to have a house to live in I had to have money.  I had to eat while I was in the house which meant I had to go to the grocery store and that meant I had to drive my car and therefore I needed gas.  All of which tied into the fact that I needed to take my behind to work.  In all of this I’ve learned one thing and that is change happens but we can never, never, ever give up.

To be perfectly honest, after looking over my life and the things that I’ve been through, the experiences that I’ve had, it used to bother me something terrible when someone would say to me “don’t give up, everything will work out, just keep pushing forward.”  I know that people, especially those who have been through some things in life, really feel that those words are encouraging and maybe to some people they are but in that moment, when you are dealing with real life, that real struggle, in the thick of things, in the middle of the drama, the madness, the chaos, the busy life, the crazy schedule, the differences of opinion…giving up is exactly what you feel like doing.  Just not wanting to be a part of the rat race period. Not wanting to deal with another issue, another problem, another setback nor another week of praying that the gas you have left in the tank will hold out until Friday, nothing.

However, what we don’t realize is that really the only way to give up or quit is to simply stop trying, to stop wanting better, to stop hoping, to stop praying, to stop wishing, to simply stop moving. And I think that as long as we get up each and every day, put one foot forward, move toward that front door, get in that car we know is ready to break down and head to that job we don’t like, by just moving we are essentially not giving up. Even though we don’t feel it and we may sometimes not think it, by simply moving along in our lives we are actually holding out hope that things will get better.  So instead of trying to find some cliche or some philosophical saying, I will just leave you with this…

Jeremiah 29:11 🙂

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s